Loving Someone With Depression

Lack of control.

Confusion because one day he is the witty, teasing, calmly confidant person that I first knew and then the next day he cannot seem to speak. When he does, it is hollow and I know he is struggling with more than sadness. It seems to follow no pattern.

Stress because I know it is not my fault, but I feel that I am somehow making things worse.

Selfishness because it is exhausting.

Guilt because I wonder if he is even trying.

Compassion when I realize he is trying more than most.

Love because of the deep and personal conversations that happen. Love because of the service that is rendered by both of us. Love because I can see his goodness so clearly.

Learning because depression is more complicated than I once thought.

Growth because of the conversations and decisions that would not otherwise happen.

Trust because if I want peace, trust is my only option.

Realization that sometimes loving someone means giving them their space.

Acceptance that control is not a solution.

Hurt because it is hard to see someone you love so much hurting so badly.

Love.