The Hug

Some people are naturally good huggers. I love those people. I am not one of those people. 

I could blame it on the fact that my immediate family and both sides of my extended family consider physical contact to be bordering cruel and unusual punishment, but let's all be honest. I'm just not a good hugger.

It's inevitable that when I hug someone, I will hurt them. 

Shoulder to the jugular, foot on the foot, glasses to the nose, fist to the wrist. I never know what limb will cause harm, but one of them manages to get in the way. 

"Oh it can't be that bad!" People tell me. Was it that bad when I accidentally punched an 81 year old woman? Yes, it was that bad. 

I have made a conscious effort to focus while I hug people. I plan my movements in advance. 

"Ok, arms out, clear the shoulders as you come in, don't move too fast, watch out for their face"

OOF. I shove my toe into their foot. 

Tall people are especially difficult to hug. There's more square footage to potentially damage. Also, for some reason, I always feel that my arms need to be on top. I'm not sure if this is a control thing or what....either way it makes things awkward. 

I have a soon-to-be cousin-in-law that I adore. Despite the fact that it takes 6 words and 4 hyphens to describe how I'm related to her. 

The first night I met her, it came time for goodbye hugs. She's 6'0.  I wanted to make a good impression. I determined to focus all my mental energy on coordinating my limbs. I moved slowly. I navigated carefully. Success! We hugged, it was normal! It was great! In my euphoric relief, I exclaimed "I hugged someone without hurting them!" I swung out my arms out in celebration and promptly clocked my 5 year old cousin in the face. 

Is there any hope for me? 

I can only keep believing that there is. 

I can only keep believing.