The Lisp

"What are you majoring in?"

"Oh, I want to be a Thpeech Therapitht" I joke, emphasizing my lisp.

Most people don't really notice that I have a lisp. However, I don't spend my time surrounded by most people. I spend my time surrounded by people who have been trained for 4+ years to hear incorrect articulation. It's hard to fly under the auditory radar around them.

I'm going to indulge myself for a second and tell you about the three types of lisps.

1.The Emma Stone. Also known as a dentalized lisp (the kind that I have).

2. The Kahmunrah. Also known as an interdental lisp. This is the one that sounds like a straight up /th/ sound. 

3. The Sid the Sloth. Also known as a lateral lisp. 

There's a lot more spit involved with that type of lisp. Ironically, I actually physically cannot produce a lateral lisp. Believe me, I've tried. A lot. 

When I first told my mom that I was changing my major to speech therapy, there was a pause on the end of the line and then, "Are you sure that's what you want to go into?"

I got flustered and said "I know you think I do, but I don't have a LITHP!"

When I get mad, nervous or loud, it gets worse.

Luckily, I'm stubborn and I felt that this is what I was meant to go into, so I stuck with it. Two years passed and I would practice my /s/ sound anytime I was out walking. Walking to class, walking my dog, walking into things, just walking. I improved it a little with help from my mom.

This term, my first term in grad school to become a speech language pathologist, I felt compelled to ask one of my professors to help me with my lisp.

Humbling. That is how I would describe that conversation. Humbling and oddly reassuring.  My professor reacted with kindness and honesty.  I walked out of her office a little overwhelmed with the task of changing a habit of 21 years. I also walked out carrying a workbook that is designed for children.

I have to admit, the way I speak is a part of my identity. Getting rid of my lisp is like asking me to dye my hair blonde or asking me to find the NBA interesting. I like that I have a lisp. I like the slightly higher pitched sound that I make. Do I lose some of my Julianess if I lose my lisp? Can I be a speech therapist with a speech impediment?

I once had an eye doctor with the laziest lazy eye that you've ever seen. In my naive 14 year old mind this seemed absurd to me. "Really? out of allllll the professions, you chose EYE doctor??"

I've since noticed that people are sometimes attracted to the very thing that they struggle with. For example, I recently read a book about a psychologist with manic depressive disorder. I know of social workers that grew up in abusive homes and teachers that hated school.

Never having struggled with something can be a struggle in and of itself. Weakness is not necessarily a bad thing. Struggle gives us passion and passion makes us good at what we do.

Achilles could have made a great podiatrist. Who knows.

Now, I'm not saying that you can't be a civil engineer if you've never had a bridge collapse underneath you. What I am saying is we all need empathy and a reason. A drive.

So when a client comes up to me and says "this thtinks." I can say "I know kid, I know."

Julia Vincent Hetherton

Costco Pizza

Have you ever had that dream where you forget to attend one class for an entire semester? And then as a result you fail miserably.
Me neither.
Just kidding, I probably have it at least twice a semester. It's terrifying.

I am a planner. I like to plan and I like things to stick to the plan. If there is no plan, then life is uncertain, variables come in, unpleasant surprises might happen and my whole life will go down the crapper.

This may sound extreme, but it's how my OCD, INFJ, Julia subconscious mind works.
When things aren't planned, my body responds by going into hyper drive. I immediately start thinking of how to secure plans, my heart rate goes up, my mind goes into James Bond focus and I can't sit down until it's all figured out.

I've never just "flown by the seat of my pants."

Actually I did once, but I ended up being lost for 35 minutes as a direct result.

The year that I graduated from college was a proud one for me. Four years of hard work and dreams about forgetting a class were finally completed. I was rewarded with this:

Almost makes you wanna cry, huh?

So to celebrate, my family decided to have a little gathering of 15 or so people. We planned our menu of Costco pizza, fruit and brownies.

Simple.

 I, however, wanted to make sure that we would have enough pizza. I didn't want Costco to be so backed up that they couldn't fulfill our order.  After all, we were going to be feeding a whopping 15 people. And it was graduation weekend at BYU. There were probably a lot of people planning to have Costco pizzas at their graduation party. This is Utah and having a Costco membership is akin to having a minivan. Or being a dentist. Or voting for Mitt Romney even if he's not running.

Don't believe me? Guess where the largest Costco in the world is. Just guess. Like I said, Utah loves Costco.

With all this, and more, in mind, I called to put in my pizza order.

"Hi, Is it possible to order pizza for a future date?"

"Sure thing, what can I get you?"

"Ok, I'm having kind of a big party, so we'll need three pizzas. Two cheese, one pepperoni. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, when would you like that for?"

"May 22nd"

There was a subtle, but unmistakable choking sound on the other end of the line. "We only take orders up to 3 days in advance"

It was April 26th.

Flummoxed, I said "So if I order three days in advance, you guys will be able to handle my order?"

"Yep."

Honestly, my first reaction was, "What business in their right mind doesn't let people order food a month in advance?!" 

The ridiculousness of what I had just thought dawned on me and I continued walking down the street to do the rest of my Christmas shopping.